Unconditional Love = Loving someone without expecting them to be any different than who they are.
This is what we strive for in our closest relationships right? We certainly want others to accept us for who we are, don’t we? I know I sure do. As I go through my daily life, I think I’m doing the best I can with the tools I have learned over the years. I think that way about others as well. It’s the ‘ultimate goal’ of us all.
Given that, it makes you wonder: Then why do we still insist on people making changes?
We want to grow and solve the problems that we have with others. To do this, we do need to make changes sometimes: in how we see things, how we are acting, how we are treating someone. Actually, is it truly possible to accept someone unconditionally? Really? This is where the rubber meets the road oftentimes in close relationships. Can I stand in my shoes, with my belief system and values, and look at you and say, “Yep, you are very different than me and I think that’s just great!”
The things that get under our skin about people whom we are close to oftentimes are the very things that first attracted us to them or made us like them so much in the first place. Maybe you love how your spouse is so organized and task-oriented. They get things done! But on the flip side, they are not very spontaneous and lack a sense of ‘going with the flow’ in life. This may be the exact thing that is very irritating to you. The call to action is to focus on their strength. The flip side. Can you put aside your own expectations, desires, to really accept this person as they are? Very young children have this down….they love the people in their lives with their whole heart. You can scold them, punish them, and give them food they hate, and they will still think you are the greatest person to walk the Earth. (At some point and age, this changes!) Maybe that’s the key: thinking about loving the person with your whole heart; getting out of your head (all that judgement) and getting into your heart (all that love).
This is SUCH a challenge–for every human on this planet!!!! Are there other ways you stay centered on unconditional love? Please comment and tell me!
