Last week I wrote about self-love. The idea that if we really can love ourselves than we open up the possibility for others to love us as well. It all starts with us… we hear that all the time. My latest questions are “How do we know if we love ourselves?” “Can we tell when we don’t love ourselves?” “Is it hard to love ourselves?”
I would propose that living your Core Values are the ways of being in the world that are very, very important to you. For instance: honesty, connection, authenticity… all values. Do you live in a way that honors your top 5 or 6 Core Values? When you think about your career, your significant relationships, your interests… are your core values there? When we don’t participate in activities, relationships, jobs where our values are present, we feel dissonance… an uneasy feeling or a feeling that something is not quite right.
What about your health? Are you living a healthy lifestyle that supports physical, mental, and spiritual well-being? When we do not live in a healthful way, this indicates we each are ignoring parts of ourself that require consistent attention in order to live fully.
Do you do work you love? Having a highly satisfying career or work is an indicator that we respect ourselves enough to participate in meaningful and fulfilling endeavors… and getting paid for it is almost a bonus! (You notice I said “almost.”)
Stillness. Can you sit with yourself, by yourself, and really enjoy this time? When we are alone we come to know ourselves better. There is nowhere for the thoughts to go… you face yourself in these times. Spending time by ourselves comfortably is really an indicator of self-love–an indicator that you like who you are and respect the need for time alone to rejuvenate.
And finally look in the mirror. Do you like the image you see? This is you. Do you tend to reject this image or accept it? If you generally or most of the time accept it and like it, than you are probably high on the self-love scale. This can be hard to do certainly as we can be our biggest critics by judging the imperfections in our face, our body. Have you ever met a person who is not particularly attractive yet who beams with confidence and happiness? You don’t even notice their imperfections, you just want to know them better and be in their presence. This way of ‘being’ in the world is an indication of high self-love.
How did you rank? Get a mirror, some alone time, assess your career satisfaction, look at your health, and list your top five core values. Personal development leads to change. Change leads to greater connection to others, and more importantly to yourself. I have some work to do myself from this list. And its okay. Its all a journey. Even life coaches are on the road too. :)
