I’ve gotta tell you: I am on a personal spiritual journey in fast forward. I recently read the memoir of Elisabeth Kubler-Ross (think The “Stages of Grief” and the book “On Death and Dying”). I was so inspired to live in a new way and to think of death in a different way that I went headlong into another book written by the Dalai Lama, Desmond Tutu, and Douglas Abrams called “The Book of Joy.” I am half-way done with this great read… and wow! Do I feel ‘on fire’ to live consciously, each moment! To live mindfully with each choice I make and each word I speak. To live in a way where all people feel heard, valued, and loved.
The essential take-away from Kubler-Ross’ masterpiece was to figure out what you are here to learn in this life… then, to learn it! The one common thing she took away from interviewing literally thousands of people who were dying or who had died and been revived back to life, was that our greatest lesson to learn in this life is how to give and receive unconditional love. Period.
Let that sink in.
Kubler-Ross kept writing that over and over in her book… and I kept thinking ‘do I do that? Do I love really unconditionally? Everyone? Do I allow others to love me unconditionally? Really?’
And the answer was… no.
This was a very sobering realization for someone who thinks she knows a lot about this personal transformation stuff. Very sobering indeed. I have started to take inventory of the how and why I don’t do that. You know what that bottom line is… I have this need to be in control and be the expert. And you know what? It’s ridiculous, really.
For example, my husband Steve, I believe he really does love me unconditionally…. it was like a hammer over my head… not just the ‘idea’ on paper… but the real thing. In really looking at it, I think my love may be conditional with him in particular, and I am admitting this so that I can change… make a real change.
I don’t let very many people in to see the real me when I’m struggling. Yet, in knowing this, it also highlights that it is an area within for my own potential growth. In the “Book of Joy,” the main take-away so far has been ‘reframing suffering.’ Instead of thinking ‘let’s avoid pain and suffering,’ the message has been to consider suffering as an opportunity destiny has given you. It’s an opportunity… one that is certainly is easier said than done.
The Dalai Lama, in an effort to simplify all of the Buddhist teachings which helps to work with human suffering, says it something like this: ‘Let your inner spirit guide you, your warmheartedness make the real difference in how you feel. Realize your connection to all other humans, to all of humanity… to have compassion for others and what they may be going through and how that will effect their actions, etc… then you will be able to release the emotional pain, the physical pain to an extent, the spiritual struggles.’ Essentially, the path to less suffering is through love, kindness, and compassion.
Wow. Simply wow!
