What happens when you are struggling emotionally with something in your life? Do you go to alcohol or food? Do you get more involved with projects at work? Do you fight more with your spouse or kids? Do you tend to sleep more? Which other ways do you avoid and distract from the pain? Insert answer here __________.
Now my question for you is: does your way of dealing with emotional pain work?
If your answer is no, then please read on….
My guess is your answer is no. Or your answer is “it helps a little bit” or “it helps temporarily.” What is the actual answer to dealing with emotional pain? The real answer that actually works?
The answer is this: You have to go directly into the pain to come out of it. When you allow the pain to wash over you, to fill you up to the tippy top… when you allow yourself to really feel the sadness, anger, confusion, grief… then and only then will it move through you instead of getting stuck inside of you. You will cry, yell, feel terrible. You may need to talk about it with someone, like your spouse, trusted friends, a therapist.
When you do not RESIST the experience of what is and you allow yourself to Just Be with What Is, then you will get to the other side of these difficult feelings much, much faster than if you resist them or stall them with the aforementioned things. Buddhism says that we suffer because we ‘resist what is.’ When we can accept every experience for what it is and when we feel our feelings, then we will not hold onto them forever. Therefore, much of our emotional suffering comes from the resistance of what is happening. Read that again. The path to peace is straight through–it’s that simple. It will hurt for a little bit, and then you will be okay. I promise.
