When I am working with clients and they are struggling with the choices someone has made in their lives (that they do NOT agree with), or how they were mistreated by another person, I try and get them to look at it from a different perspective. How was that person raised and by whom? What are their values/what’s important to them? How do they see the world (as a victim or owner–that’s a whole other blog post!)? What do they know about this topic/issue vs. what you know? What are their tools for dealing with this type of problem? vs. your tools in dealing with it? Can you stand in the shoes of your enemy for a minute? Now breathe. Now appreciate the lens through which they see life.
If you can truly do this… have empathy for their version of events and their perspective on things… you can radically shift how you feel about them.
You will come to realize that perhaps your enemy is doing the best they can…the best they can with the tools they have been given in life. If you can learn to look at differences this way, then you will radically change how you experience difficult people. You will learn to reduce your own suffering.
And dare I say, you will feel happier overall.
